The First Day

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The First Day

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The First Day
Aired	May 1st, 2008
Written by	Damon Beesley Iain Morris
Directed by	Gordon Anderson
Episode Guide
Next	"Bunk Off"

The First Day, also titled on other platforms as First Day is the first episode of Series 1 as well as the first episode of the whole series. It first aired May 1st, 2008 on E4, gaining 238,000 viewers.

Plot

The episode begins with a shot of from various angles of Will McKenzie walking into Rudge Park Comprehensive (his new school where he will enter sixth form) whilst he narrates to the audience about things he wished would not happen in his life, but did. These things included his father leaving his mother, being taken out of private education and having to go to a public school instead due to this. He then enlightens the audience about the friends he makes during the series. He then mentions how his day begins where he has a welcome conversation in the headmaster's office with other new students, who can also be referred to as "The Freaks" by Will. In this meeting, the headmaster tells them about a new rule, in which the students in the room would be given a welcome badge to wear.

When the bell rings, Will goes to his registration class and mocks the Head of Sixth Form, Mr. Gilbert, unaware of him being behind him. He then introduces Will to the class and insults his badge while doing so. He then tells student Simon Cooper that he will be looking after him and helping him with the school and its rules because they share the most classes together. This then makes Simon lash out and complain about this and insults Will, giving him reasons to not help him. When the school bell rings, Mr. Gilbert then also tells them that the event where the students would all go to the pub after school that day is illegal for them to drink alcohol because they are all underage. He brings this up to warn them of how they would be excluded if they were to be seen drinking there.

Will then goes to the toilets, being insulted by many people as he walks through the corridors, as he adds justification to the insults. When he is in the cubicle, he can hear Simon and his friends, Jay Cartwright and Neil Sutherland having a conversation. The conversation followed Jay falsely claiming that he is good at having sexual intercourse, to which Simon says how it is clearly not true. Neil, believing Jay then asks where he does it best. Jay then says he just goes deep and also goes "right up to the balls". Neil then asks if you put the balls in, to which Jay says that you can depending on who it is because he claims that some women like it and some also do not. Simon then confronts Jay again for "talking bullshit". A popular student, Mark Donovan and his friend then enter the toilet. Donovan then goes to use the urinal, while Simon also does. Donovan then believes Simon was trying to look at his cock because he saw him looking over. Simon then takes it as a joke until he proceeds to tell him and his friends to "fuck off". They then leave the toilets. Donovan and his friend then discover that Will was in the toilet and then climb over the stall, taking photos of him. With these photos, they then put it up on a wall of the school with text saying "HELLO! I'M WILL AND I'M DOING A SHIT", which was in reference to his badge.

The next scene cuts to Will walking through a corridor, whilst being insulted yet again, to find Simon at his locker. Simon acts awkward, trying not to be rude, desperately wanting Will to leave him. After a moment, Simon convinces himself to show Will where the common room is. Once there, Will is seen waving at Simon with Jay and Neil, whilst sitting with The Freaks. The three start discussing about the pub event happening the following evening, whilst Jay mocks Simon for being "knackered" after a ten-week break, claiming that he had only felt like that because he had "spent the last ten weeks wanking three times a day". Around this point in the conversation, Carli D'Amato, Simon's love interest, had appeared to ask Simon if he was joining everyone to the pub. After being able to convince him to come along, she noticed his aftershave and went to smell him, with Simon getting a clear view of her cleavage, which caused Simon to have an erection, and because of this, he decided to decline her offer for them to walk to Sociology together. This led the boys to question him, after she had left, with Jay jokingly asking if he had a "hard-on", to then actually find out he had one from his defensive response. After the realisation, Jay announced to everyone else in the room that Simon had an erection and it gathered a crowd around him, giving him the nickname, "Boner".

Will was going to go for lunch, but when he opened the door, everyone started walking out through the door he was holding. When Will finally got to the lunch hall and sat down, everyone left because they did not want to be seen with him, in which he just accepted. After Will had finnished his lunch, he tried to hang-out with Simon and his friends, but they just tried to walk away.

When school finnished, you see Jay, Neil and Simon walking out. Wanting to wind Simon up from earlier, Jay warned Simon to not look at his left because there was a girl with a knee length skirt on and he might produce semen in his trousers. Will then joined Simon, saying "Hi, Simon.". Simon then introduced everyone else to Will. Jay commented on Will's briefcase, with Neil's laughter following. Jay then asked Neil where the pub was. Getting it mixed up, Neil thought it was The Black Bull and told Jay they were meeting up there. Will then asked what time they were all gonna meet up, with Jay saying that he can get there whatever time he wants because he is not coming. Will then said he thought that they were all going to meet together, with Jay cutting him off, by saying "Nah, you thought wrong.". Simon was then worried that he would not "get served" because he thinks Carli will think he is a loser. Will said that she might not get served, but Simon said that all girls do when they develop breasts. Jay says that he will definitelly get served because has a fake ID that says he is an adult.

Will's mother then pulled up in her car outside of the school, even though he told her to not pick him up. Neil then said how he finds her attractive, with Jay agreeing with him and saying that he would have sex with her. Jay then asked if Will would have sex with her too. Obviously, Will then said "Hm...Well, if she's my mum, no.". Jay told Will that he was asking if she was not his mother, with Will saying that she is his mother. Simon then tried to explain what Jay was saying. Jay said all he wanted to know was if Will would get down, between his mother's legs and spread them. Will then asked "Can we please stop talking about my mother's vagina!?", with them all laughing. Will then said to them "Maybe see you tonight?", with Jay responding, saying that he was not invited and Neil also responded saying he is, if he brings his mother.

When Polly was driving Will home, Will asked if she had to pick him up. Polly said she just wanted to hear about Will's first day and noticed his badge, complimenting it. Will also asked why she told the school that he got bullied last term. Polly thought that Will was bullied, but he said that he got wedgied a couple of times. Polly said that the school wanted a reason why Will wanted to join and she thought she should have said that, instead of saying that she could not afford the private school fees. Will then told her that he was going to the pub with some friends. Polly asked Will to make sure these friends are not just making fun of him because she did not want him to get bullied again. Will then asked if he could borrow £20.

In his room, Jay was looking at porn magazines and then picked up his fake ID and proceeded to kiss it. Neil's dad was trying to tell him that it was quite a lot of money he was spending, saying that "money is tight". And then Neil asked his father if he wanted to get called names by his friends. Jay's mother hollered his name, saying that she had his dinner. Jay yelled to her to not come in. Jay then put all of his magazines underneath his bed and then asked if he could borrow £20. Neil's father ended up giving him £10, instead of £20, if he made a promise to not spend it all on gambling. Before leaving, Neil said that he could not promise that. Simon was getting ready to go to the pub and his mother noticed that he had a lot of gel in his hair, saying it smells quite strong. Simon started shouting at his mother, saying things like how he can not change it now and asked why she is like this. Simon then slammed the door shut on her and came back in asking if he could borrow £20.

Jay, Neil and Simon arrive at The Black Bull, with shortly catching up to them. Jay said "Not him.", with Simon trying to convince Jay that he is alright. Will apologised to them because he was late. Jay then rhetorically asked if Will was fingering his mother. Simon asked what their plan was, with Jay telling him that they did not need a plan. Jay told Simon to relax. Simon said that there was nothing relaxing about this situation because if he did not get served, he would be humiliated in front of Carli, saying that he had a love interest in her, since she was 8-years-old. Neil asked Simon "You fancy 8-year-olds?", with him explaining how they were both 8-years-old at the same time. Neil said to Simon "Yeah, but you still fancied an 8-year-old.". Jay reminded them all on how he had a fake ID. Jay asked if Will was then coming, calling him "New Boy". Will told Jay that he did have a name, so he rephrased his sentence, but instead calling him "Briefcase Mong".

When the four walk in, it was completely empty (beside two men). Will commented on how it was nice. Simon suggested that they should come back later. Jay then asked everyone what they wanted to drink. Neil then found a gambling machine and started spending it with his £10. Jay then asked the barman that was there for: Three pints of lager and a pint of Guinness. The barman asked if Jay had an ID, so he pulled out his fake ID. The barman asked if Jay was aware that it was an Australian driving licence. Jay forgot that it was an Australian licence, so he started to put on an accent. The barman asked for his birthday, so he told him the birthday, that was on the licence. On the table, waiting for Jay, Will asked Simon if Jay was speaking in an Australian accent. The waiter wanted Jay to remind him what he wanted to order again. The barman asked if the other drinks were for the other three, with Jay confirming. The barman refused to serve them, unless they had an ID too. Jay got back to the table, with his pint of lager. Simon asked where all of their drinks were. Jay told Will and Simon to get their own drinks.

Will went up to the barman and asked if he could have three pints of lager. The barman asked if Will had any proof of his age, so he could serve him. Will said that the waiter has his word of age, but he still wanted an ID. Will then explained his whole situation of how his father left his mother and now he had to got to a comprehensive school, so he attached himself to an average group of friends. Will then suggested to the waiter that maybe he could get them three non-alcoholic beers, but the barman would not serve Will because he did not have an ID. Will then told the barman that the law states that you 16-year-olds can drink cider, perry, or mead in a pub, if they are eating a meal, but the waiter would still not serve him.

Will then made a deal with a man in the pub named Steve. Will's deal was that he would pay for all of Steve's drinks, if he would just order him three pints of cider and carvery dinners and sit with him and his friends on the table they are sitting. Will informed Steve that he does not have to talk to them, but just needs to stay and sit with them. Steve then accepted Will's deal and they ordered.

Will and Steve sat down at the table with the other three. Simon asked in a whispering voice "Who is that!?". Not knowing Steve's name, Will asked what his name was, then informing Simon that it was Steve. Will then informed the rest of the group on what they were having. The group left to get there carvery, with Neil telling Simon to get his for him. Neil told Steve on how he lost £10 on a gambling machine and then Steve started playing on it.

Neil tagged along with the other three, waiting for their carvery. Simon got a text from Carli. Jay asked if the text was saying if she was wondering where he was, calling himself "fit". The text was saying that she could not see where they were because it was so full of people, to the point where she could not see them. They all turned around, looking at the almost-empty pub. Jay asked if Carli was a "retard". Simon then informed everyone that Carli was at The Black Horse, instead of The Black Bull. On the way out, Simon asked Neil how he was so stupid to mix up The Black Bull with The Black Horse. Neil then tried to tell Simon that he was half-right.

In a hurry, the four all rush into The Black Horse. When everyone saw the group in (a few seconds) they all started calling Simon "Boner" again. Will sarcastically said that that was a good start for Simon because everyone started calling him Boner. Ignoring the topic, Simon then tried to look for Carli, Neil and Simon went to gamble and Will tried to get drinks for the group.

Simon started looking around for Carli, with her noticing him, shouting his name. Simon looked over and saw her sitting on a couch, doing hand signals, trying to make him come over there with her. Carli said hello to him and then gave him a kiss on his left cheek. Simon closed his eyes tightly, trying to not get an erection. Carli told him to not be shy and squeeze up more close to her. A man (Tom) got Carli and himself drinks. As Tom sat down next to Simon, people yelled across the room "Boner!". Carli then introduced Tom to Simon. Simon then told them that they went to The Black Bull before they went here, but said it in the context of going there on purpose. Carli then mentioned how Simon had changed because she remembers when he used to be sensitive to alcohol, not wanting to go anywhere near it. Carli and Tom decide to go home. Simon asked "You're going already?" not knowing how Tom and Carli had been there for two hours.

Will asked a barman at The Black Horse (Ian) if he could have four pints of lager, with Ian asking for an ID. Will asked if they served food. Ian told Will that the kitchen's closed. Will kept demanding Ian to give him four pints of lager and Ian kept demanding Will for an ID. Will kept yelling that everyone in the pub was underage. Will kept pointing at people, yelling things to Ian like "He's underage!" or "She's underage!". Mid-way through Will's rant, Gilbert walked in. Ian then yelled out to everyone in the pub, informing them that the pub is now closed.

When everyone was told to exit the pub, Will stood there for a few seconds and then followed in the line, making him in dead last. Gilbert said to Will "Nice to see you again, McKenzie." and congratulated him for doing his job. Gilbert said he will make sure that Will gets another badge for it. Gilbert then told Will to get out and said he will have a pint of lager.

When they were outside of The Black Horse, Jay told Will that he did not care how attractive his mother was because he still would not be seen in a car with him. Jay asked if Simon was coming with him and Neil. Simon said he could not because he has to look after Will, calling him "supergrass". Neil asked Simon why he was staying with Will, calling him a "bellend". Will told them that he was there, with Jay saying that wishes he was not. Jay and Neil then said goodbye to Simon and left. Will then said "What a first day?", calling himself a "twat". Simon then agreed with Will at the part where he called himself a twat. Simon mentioned how an insult he said regarding about how a boy's mother still buys his trousers was a personal highlight. Will told Simon that he made that whole insult up. Will asked who that guy with Carli (Tom) was. Simon then told Will how he was just Carli's friend, who did not need an ID and had a car. Will then apologised, even though he and Carli had already had drinks and left before Will's rant. Donovan then showed up, with Will begging him to not hit him before he had even said anything. Donovan said that he will get Will at some point in the next year and he will make sure he will not know when it is happening, but it will happen. Will's mother then pulled up outside of The Black Horse. Donovan then commented on how attractive Polly was, saying "Lovely to meet you, Mrs. McKenzie!". Polly then said that Donovan seemed nice and then Will told her that he is the school bully, who threatened to kill him. Not listening, Polly said she was glad that Will was making friends.

Trivia

• At the beginning, in the distance of the shots of Will walking into Rudge Park, Jay, Neil, and Simon can be seen playing football.
• In the scene where Carli informs Simon that Tom had a car, the song playing had earlier said the lyrics "My baby drives a car", which may have been foreshadowing to her and Tom's relationship.
• The actor, who was taking pictures of Will on the toilet, along with Donovan, was Simon Bird (the actor for Will)'s girlfriend's boyfriend at the time, although was left uncredited.
• On social media, the location on Jay's fake ID was said to be a gay night club called "The Shaggers Club", although it was later stated that it was a joke later.
• There was originally an extended scene of the welcome chat shown at the beginning of the episode, revealing the headmaster for Rudge Park, although it was shortened in the final cut. This version of the scene can be found on the Series 1 disc, and has also been archived on YouTube here.
• There is also another deleted scene of this episode, which was replaced by Simon awkwardly showing Will where the common room was. Instead, it showed them walking upstairs, with Will trying to get Simon to tell him where English class was. Again, this is on the Series 1 disc, but has been archived on YouTube here.
• Before this episode, there was an unaired pilot a year prior, called "Baggy Trousers".

Mistakes

• In the scene where Will had to be accompanied by an adult to purchase alcohol, instead of getting Steve, he could have just gotten Jay instead because the barman was already under the impression that he was an adult.
• When Gilbert was talking to Will after he had "alienated the entire school" (how Will described the scene he caused in the pub in the narration), a reflection in the jukebox reveals audio equipment.
• When Will says the line "Sir." to Gilbert in the pub, a man is seen standing. As well as him still being there when everyone was banned, he was not seen in the same shot before.
• When Will says the line "I'm such a twat", it is an over-the-shoulder shot, but his mouth can not be seen moving while saying this.